One of the most painful trials of life is your first big break-up. This doesnít include the time you dumped your third grade boyfriend because he threw sand at you on the playground. The break-up of your first real love or first giant crush is exquisitely painful and thereís not much getting around that. But itís not the end of the world, and you will survive the brief bout of pain and move forward. How well and how quickly you more forward depend rather heavily on how you handle yourself after the break-up.
Spend Time Alone
After a break-up youíll likely want to surround yourself with friends for the comfort and safety they provide, but as soon as you can, find a way to get some time alone. Put in your ear buds and go for a walk or just lay down on your bed. Cry a bit more if you need to and then focus on your thought process. The pain of a break-up plays games with your head and you need to have your mind straight before you start talking about things with friends and others interested to hear the details.
Decide how much you want to share. Remember this is your personal business. There is a difference between sharing facts and sharing your emotions. You can tell everyone you broke up without sharing all of the gory details. Without the influence of others, find an emotion you can deal with in regard to your ex. After all, youíre certainly going to be seeing him again unless you were lucky enough to break up with him on his way to travel the world. If you know that youíre mad rather than sad or the other way around, you can name the emotion, process it and be more at peace when you have to interact with him again.
You might be tempted to blog or message about the break-up, but your thoughts might get pretty ugly and rather than risk the whole world knowing every detail of your personal business, type up your thoughts in a personal journal. Or write them down in a composition book. Writing them down has a very strong therapeutic effect and the journal can take as much venting as you throw at it Ė unlike some of your friends.
Keep Your Friends and Do Friendly Things
The pain of breaking up is yours (and hopefully his) to deal with, and your friends will get a bit tired of it after a time, even if they love you dearly. Make it a point to do things with your friends that are fun simply for the sake of being fun. There is great wisdom in faking fun. If you fake a smile and fake conversation with friends, even if you donít feel like it, that faking will eventually become real Ė often without you knowing it. Keep your friends around to distract you and to remind you that having fun is just as much a part of being a teenager as break-ups.