Itís happened to most of us. We break up with someone (or get broken up with) and fume for days. We hate him! Heís worthless! What did we ever see in him?! But then time starts to clear our vision, and we realize that maybe he wasnít so bad after all. What do you do when you want him back?
Analyze Your Thoughts
Before you confess your longing for an ex to a friend, or worse, to the ex, think about whatís really going on in your head. Do you miss the actual guy or do you miss what the guy was to you? Are you suddenly bored on the weekends and your thumbs need a bit of texting exercise? Or do you miss the way he made you laugh and you want to cry when you think about the little things heíd always do to help you out?
If you miss having a boyfriend, itís normal to want your old one back. He might have been annoying at times, but heís familiar and it was probably pretty fun most of the time you were together. If you actually miss the guy rather than the relationship, your case is much better for getting back together. Thereís no point in rehashing something that was just a relationship. Getting back together with someone you care about it another matter entirely.
Assess the Situation
Your next step is to assess the situation. Were you perfectly fine without him until he started seeing Julie (or Melissa, or Renee, or Emmie)? Itís natural to feel possessive of him Ė after all he did once belong to you. But think about your situation. You likely also feel rather possessive about your locker from last year. Does it seem weird to watch someone else at your locker and then feel weird in almost the same way seeing someone with your ex? Thatís not relationship material, thatís just normal, sentimental behavior.
If heís still single and youíre still single, you might have a chance. If heís seeing someone else, donít get in the middle of it. Let the relationship run its course, which will hopefully be short, so that he can remember how great you are compared to HER. Also, if heís already seeing someone else, you might suddenly decide that heís entirely too elastic to have around as boyfriend material Ė especially if you just broke up a few days ago.
Finally, when youíve taken stock of whatís ahead of you, itís time to take action. What action you take is up to you, but the bottom line is you should make it clear that youíre still interested without putting too much of yourself out there. Open up the lines of communication in a friendly way Ė not by sending a group of your giggling friends over, but by asking him to check homework together or if heíd mind helping you with a project after school.
Keep things light and open Ė donít make the situation more awkward than it naturally will be. If you want to be around him, youíre going to have to find ways past the initial awkward phase and find ways to be friends. Once youíre friends again, if the romantic vibe is still there, heíll feel it to. And then the two of you will have your best shot at getting back together.