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When Relationships Hurt @ Girl-Doll Fashion Gossip

  When Relationships Hurt (Doll Article)

(October 29, 2008 by JeZz Send DollMail )
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When a relationship starts, it’s wonderful to focus on how much fun it is to be falling into love or serious “like” and to obsess over every small word and look. It’s usually not until you think you really know someone that things change. It’s shattering to learn that the boy you thought you new has a side you’ve never seen before. And it’s even worse to allow your hope and affection to keep you in danger.

Painful Relationships

Abusive relationships aren’t just for women in movies – they happen in real life and they happen far more than is ever reported. Abuse can take many forms often making you wonder if things are really as bad as they seem. The bad guy in a movie is easy to spot, but when you’re faced with a “not-so-bad” guy who professes to love you, it’s a different matter entirely. There isn’t a girl out there who would tell someone to stay in a painful relationship. Once any form of abuse is present, the relationship is over. When you suspect or know things aren’t right anymore, it’s time to get out. You can’t fix him, even if you want to.

Abuse

Abuse ranges from verbal abuse such as cursing, demeaning remarks, and the like to full on sexual abuse such as rape or other forced sexual acts. If your boyfriend punches you across the face or forces you into an act you’re not interested in being a part of, you’d think it was easy to spot the abuse and even easier to walk away (and file charges.) Unfortunately, for many girls it’s not that simple.

Many women and girls stay in ugly relationships because they don’t know any better or because they don’t realize that they are in an ugly relationship. If your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex and you keep telling him no, your position is clear. But if you wear tight clothing and dance provocatively with him at a party and later he “can’t keep his hands off you” even when you tell him no and fight back, is it your fault? You should be screaming NO!, but many girls fall for the boy’s argument.

The classic rape argument goes something like this, “You know you wanted it, you’re just being a tease. If you didn’t want it you wouldn’t have dressed/acted/talked/looked that way. You can’t say no and then look/dress/dance that way and really mean it.” If this is something you’re faced with, remind your boyfriend that no means no and run, don’t walk away from that relationship. He’s poison. Remember that even failed rape attempts should be reported to help keep other girls safe.

Warning Signs

Other forms of abuse follow the same format. He hits you because you drive him to it. He screams at you because you made him so angry he lost control. He threatens you because he loves you so much and doesn’t want anything to happen to you. Abuse is an ugly thing woven into a pretty picture. Finding abuse isn’t always simple, and when you suspect you’re a victim or heading that way, get out of the relationship and immediately confide in a trusted adult – a parent, teacher, counselor or a friend’s parent can give you advice and point you in the right direction if legal action is required.

Some of the more typical warning signs of abuse include:

• Unexplainable injuries. You’re hurt and you can’t tell anyone why.
• Failing grades
• A difference in your appearance – losing weight, for example
• Becoming isolated and afraid to be around other friends
• Worried about making your boyfriend upset or angry
• Your boyfriend loses his temper frequently, throws thing or hits things when he’s mad
• Your boyfriend is always calling or texting you to check up on where you are and what you’re doing.
• You make excuses for your boyfriend’s behavior and apologize for him.
• Your boyfriend is extremely jealous when you talk to other boys – even if it’s totally innocent, like in groupwork.
• Your boyfriend calls you names or puts you down, especially in front of other people.


Comments
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flowergirl21

28/Female
United Kingdom
Posted On: February 4, 2009
iy\t is kinda nice........
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XxprettyXpunki

20/Female
Modesto, CA
Posted On: November 28, 2008
Very good. I've never been in an abusive relationship and I hope I never have to. I pray for the ones that are.
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dorkyblonde

21/Female
Richland, NE
Posted On: November 22, 2008
I have only had one boyfriend b4 and he was a jerk so i really dnt care because i am not the prettiest girl in the world so boys arent really into me
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LittlePlunes2

19/Female
OK
Posted On: November 18, 2008
what's emotional abuse? lol

i'm the same as annabelle, but this is still good stuff to know.

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Annabell11

19/Female
Morristown, TN
Posted On: November 11, 2008
Well I've never had a boyfriend, I hate love and romance and I'm a v*rgin whos never even been kissed before so I don't really care.
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zoey122

32/Female
Hong Kong S.A.R.
Posted On: November 7, 2008
cool FMA doll
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lightfire9398

24/Female
East Meadow, NY
Posted On: November 4, 2008
This was fairly good, it'll help teach people when they read it.

Keep writing things like this for the public.
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Rocketship_

105/Female
Japan
Posted On: November 3, 2008
That guy doll in uniform looks like Roy Mustang from FMA.

He isn't abusive!

-glare-
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never_more

21/Female
Arvada, CO
Posted On: November 1, 2008
This is very good!! And way more along the line of what girls our age should be reading, not things about TV shows. For once I'm glad to say I read the full thing.
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eliginorski

22/Female
Canada
Posted On: November 1, 2008
Good article, but i think that you should have mentioned emotional abuse, too.
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