While Iím not a Juliet to every Romeo who comes along, I have had a few boyfriends along the way and after a few long-term relationships, I have a pretty solid understanding of the type of girlfriend I am. Of course, knowing that doesnít mean I make all the right choices and do everything perfectly Ė I have a few faults in love just like everyone else, but itís interesting to think about. What kind of girlfriend are you?
The Self-Sufficient Type
If youíre self-sufficient, you donít need anyone. You certainly donít need a boy to make you feel better or to complicate things unnecessarily. The self-sufficient girlfriend has a boyfriend who doesnít mind taking a backseat and just hanging out on the couch while she bustles around taking care of business. The self-sufficient girlfriend tends to not be jealous of her manís time Ė instead she wonders why her boyfriend doesnít do a bit more instead of just sitting around.
The self-sufficient girlfriend has her head on straight and knows that being fulfilled on your own makes you the best you to be with someone else. Just be careful, my self-sufficient friend, that you donít pick a guy who doesnít understand your busyness or one that thinks he should be the center of your universe and pouts when you donít drop everything for him on his whim.
The Needy Girlfriend
The exact opposite of the self-sufficient girlfriend, the needy girlfriend has to have her man (and usually others around her) offer her support and structure to get through the day. The needy girlfriend changes her clothes or hairstyle if the boyfriend makes a rude comment will do just about anything to keep him happy or to gain approval Ė even if itís not something she would normally do.
The needy girlfriend is like playdough Ė she can be molded to suit her man, and most men take advantage of you for a while and then grow tired of it and drop you for someone with a bit more spirit. Needy girlfriends are on dangerous ground. While itís wonderful that you care about what others think and feel, when you need others to boost your spirits and support your every decision, itís time to step back and reconsider the relationship and even your approach to life.
The Nurturing Girlfriend
There are some girls out there who will be great mothers and caretakers. We know it because they are always caring for others Ė especially boyfriends. The nurturing girlfriend is the one who wants to rescue her man. She swoops in to pluck him from his horrible situation (even if he likes where he is) and through her gentle love and devotion (and maybe a shouting match or two) she fixes him right up. If she doesnít fix him, she fixes his situation. If she canít fix him, she gets frustrated and the relationship sours. Considering most men canít be Ďfixedí, there are a lot of nurturers with stinky relationships even though they are wonderful people.
The nurturing girlfriend is as likely to do a boyfriendís overdue essay as she is to help him talk out some tough emotions after a fight with his parents. The nurturing girlfriend is in a tricky spot. If youíre nurturing your boyfriend, you might be putting yourself last and risking your happiness for what you think are his needs. You might also be beating your head on a wall trying to change something that doesnít, or canít, be changed. If youíre with a boy who appreciates what you offer to him and doesnít take advantage of it Ė your power to care and affect change can really make a difference in his life and in yours.
Which am I? Iím about 60 percent Nurturing and 40 percent Self-Sufficient. Iíll even admit to be pretty Needy in the past. Which are you?