Itís interesting how hard most girls work to find a boyfriend they like, and then how hard they seem to work at losing him again. As many girls quickly learn having a crush on a boy from afar and then being committed to him and all the habits you didnít realize he had are two very different things. The quiet guy in class is mysterious and hot. The boyfriend who barely speaks to you is just plan annoying. This doesnít mean you donít like him or that you want to hurt him, indeed, the opposite is usually true. Which brings you to a tricky place Ė how do you dump him?
ďToo Much, Too FastĒ
When youíre ready to move on, simply tell the boy the truth. You enjoy his company, but the relationship is moving just a bit too fast and itís a bit too much for you right now. Being around him is fun, but you simply donít have the resources (time, emotions, whatever) to commit to being his girlfriend. Usually this statement is followed by a ďLetís just be friendsĒ kind of comment. If heís feeling the same way Ė like the two of you arenít particularly soul mates, there is a very good chance you really can be friends. Of course, if you wait until ugly words have passed or things have gotten way awkward, you can kiss the chance of friendship, good-bye.
ďI Like You, but I Donít Love YouĒ
If you want to dump a guy who seems passionate about you, itís a shame to burst his bubble but it just has to be done. The tough guy you had a mad crush on is suddenly planning your date to prom in three years and youíre a bit weirded out by the whole thing. Sure heís cute, but youíre not into the whole three year relationship thing with the guy Ė heís not THE ONE.
Unfortunately for you, he seems to think you are HIS ONE, so youíll have to let him down gently. Simply explain to your soon-to-be-ex man that you care about him, but you donít feel passionate about him. You like him, but you know now that youíll never love him in the way he deserves. If heís truly wounded, he might ask you to stick around and see if you ďlearn to love him.Ē Take it from me Ė this is a bad idea. It will only hurt more to break up for real in another month or so.
A popular choice among the cowards of the world is to suddenly stop being available to your man until heís forced to break up with you. Some see this as letting the guy save face, but itís really just you being a chicken. If you donít want to be with the guy, suddenly ignoring his calls and walking away from him when heís talking to you is just rude. Heís likely going to get confused and hurt long before he gets mad and vengeful. Even then he probably would appreciate he truth. So do both of you a favor and skip the dramatics. Let him know when his time is up Ė trust me, heís man enough to take it. If not, itís obvious you did the right thing.