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Is Divorce Hurting You? @ Girl-Doll Fashion Gossip

  Is Divorce Hurting You? (Doll Article)

(March 16, 2008 by JeZz Send DollMail )
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Some of the latest statistics on divorce are pretty scary. Almost sixty percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Second and third marriages have divorce rates of close to eighty percent. As any child of divorce can tell you, the divorce isn’t just between the parents in a family – the whole family is affected.

Children of Divorce

Over one million children will watch their parents divorce this year, and literally half of all babies born in 2008 will end up children of a broken home by the time they are eighteen. In some cases you can probably understand why your parents got divorced, especially if there was cheating or abuse involved, but studies have shown that children almost always wish their parents would find a way to stay together – even if they fight and bicker constantly. That’s not all the studies have shown.

Apparently children who have divorced parents have other problems to worry about. Children of divorce:

•Are more likely to be abused or neglected
•Have more health and behavior problems
•Are involved in more criminal acts
•Are more likely to use drugs and alcohol
• Have higher rates of suicide
•Perform poorly at school
•Are more likely to fail or repeat a grade or drop out
•Will earn less as adults
• Will lose their virginity at a younger age
•Will probably have fewer children of their own
•Will most likely end up divorced

Breaking the Cycle

There is no doubt that these things aren’t very upbeat and positive. But if the numbers are right, by the time you’re in college almost half of your friends will have divorced parents, too. Does this mean that everyone (or half of everyone) will be hurt by divorce?

Just because a study says you can have some serious problems from your parents’ divorce doesn’t mean it has to actually come true. Every family is different and every divorce is different. Kids who see both parents on a regular basis and are lucky enough to have parents who are at least still nice to each other have a serious advantage over those who are suddenly missing a parent or have to hear their parents gripe about each other constantly.

If your parents are divorced, and you think you’re getting the bad end of the deal, you need to be proactive about getting help to break the cycle. Don’t wait for your parents to notice you’re doing badly in school or getting into more fights. They are busy with courts and getting set up in new separate lives. Sure they should be overwhelming you with love and attention during this difficult time, but that doesn’t always happen. Instead, you need to take matters into your own hands.

Deal with It

The worst effects of divorce are the ones you allow to fester under the skin. If you are angry and bitter that your parents have done this, you need to get those feelings out. The longer they stay in, the more damage they can do. It’s perfectly natural to feel sad, angry, furious, frustrated, bitter, relieved, happy, and confused all at the same time. Find a trusted friend, teacher, counselor or therapist to help you talk about everything and work though your feelings.

Talking about hurtful subjects can be uncomfortable, but you won’t be able to heal from a divorce until you work your way through all your thoughts and feelings on the matter. When you’ve processed how you feel (and your feelings will change over time) talk to your parents about them and tell your parents exactly what you need.

Even if your parents got divorced years ago, you might still have unresolved feelings about everything. Your parents might not be comfortable talking about it, and you may cry or shout, but try to stay calm and tell them how you feel and what they can do to make your life as simple as possible at this point. After all, it’s not your fault they split.


Comments
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cherriesglitte

22/Female
Tiger, GA
Posted On: June 30, 2008
my parents aint divorced never will be
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pookster1

18/Female
Ireland
Posted On: April 16, 2008
I wish mi parents were still together Mi parents cuss at eachother and they just lie and say there "just talking but it gets kinda loud sometimes". Its stupid.

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Blondie_30

23/Female
Canada
Posted On: April 7, 2008
This really helped, Because my parents are well--> Seperated..And to soon be divorced!!! great article, i loved it! as usual!
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antlove

31/Female
Newport News, VA
Posted On: March 30, 2008
i lik them allllllll.
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lissymarie

22/Female
Granada Hills, CA
Posted On: March 29, 2008
this article totally hit home. my parents are divorcing, and for me this is the second time (my mom was unmarried when i was born, but my father still lived with us.) the weird thing is, my current dad and mom work amazingly well together, and the divorce seems pointless.
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Stephie

20/Female
Park Row, TX
Posted On: March 27, 2008
My parents are getting divorced this month. They got in a really big fight in December. My mom walked out and me and my sister came with. It has been so hard the last 4 or 5 months. My mom is trying to make talk to more people. But I am already talking to 3 conserlers, 4 teachers and a thousand other people. My dad is getting ready to go to jail I just want to hear his voice 1 more time before he gos to jail. I really miss him. I am just 11 years old y do I have to go though this. I love my mom and I ove my dad!
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pookster1

18/Female
Ireland
Posted On: March 25, 2008
I wish my parents were still together cuz my brothers and I found out in January of 08'. I hope the heartache that other families have to deal with will soon turn to hope , love , and a free soul and mind. Im troubled and confused because my parents split. They would've been married for 16 years this comming April, but its a dreadful, ruefull, sorrowful, and troublesome end for marriages. Most marriages end in Divorce or Death. I realize yes they both start with D's to me these are the Dreadful Double D's or (DDD). I hope that all of the children, teens, and parents currently or still suffering...always have hope and respect eachother please. it is all I ask to bring u hope and serenity from God. I think this article might suprise alot of people, for I, and 11 year old girl wrote this. I speak sincerely to whom there parents haven't split yet. Always be prepared for anything.
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nixy_noodles

21/Female
United Kingdom
Posted On: March 22, 2008
My parents divorced about 5 years ago, I think. I live with my mum and visit my dad loads.

...

Good article.
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pookster1

18/Female
Ireland
Posted On: March 21, 2008
I start to notice now that when I was little I thought "My life is perfect and nothing can change that." Untill my family moved 10-15 minutes away from my best friends and my school that I have gone to all my life and at my new school it is Terrible. All they have done for me was tear me into peices with unbearable rumors for 2 years and that im only 11. Then this divorce shows up and sets a terrible setback in our once perfect life. I dearly hope that someday mi life will once again be on track. I love the fact that me and my brothers are sticking together and that all of you stick with your siblings and help them through this unbearable tragety. Being that im only 11 with a 9th Grade vocabulary and being in 6th grade tells me that good things come in small packages, but u cant take the package right away...u have to take small steps to getting the good package and refrianing the bad ones. Please tell your selves that you are good people but you cant do any thing about this. Pookster1
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pookster1

18/Female
Ireland
Posted On: March 21, 2008
At first I was the 2nd to only one in my circle of friends whose parents are still together but now mi best friend is the only one in mi circle of friends which whose parents are still together......On the other hand mi parents told my brothers and I in January of 08 and I always wish they could some how get bac together but I know there is nothing me or mi brothers can do but just sit and wait till its official
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Shortie23

22/Female
Manteno, IL
Posted On: March 19, 2008
i like this article b/c it helped my best friend read all ur coments....keep it up.

♥ Shortie23
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tootoorooroo

19/Female
Hanford, CA
Posted On: March 19, 2008
I live with my mom but she isint divorced my daddy died!
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superhero_1

25/Female
United Kingdom
Posted On: March 19, 2008
My Parents Split Up But My Mum Re-Married So I Am Happy My 14yr Old Sister Is Still Sad And Hates My Step-Dad. Very Good Article, I Should Give Them To My Sister.

-Kayley,x
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whiteskyewarri

21/Female
Canada
Posted On: March 18, 2008
thank god my parents haven't split up... yet.

a lot of my friends parents have split though, and ive helped them through it, and trust me, its really painful to watch them be hurt like that. so ya.. divorce sucks.
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BC_bbz_BC

24/Female
United Kingdom
Posted On: March 18, 2008
Brill Article Im Totally inspired by this you could be a actual Writer One day
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