Itís a new year and everyone wants the year to go well. Even if you have the greatest group of friends around you that you could ever want, itís natural and even preferred to find new members for your posse. If youíre the new woman in the room, making new friends is even more daunting because you donít often have a back-up plan, but it can easily be done.
If you can, start finding friends before the school year starts. Look for neighbors who will be going to your school or join an organization or sport that starts before the school year. A few days of sweaty marching band practice and youíll likely have the kind of friends youíll enjoy the rest of your life. Nothing bonds people together more than suffering through hours of flags and horns on a blacktop.
Once school starts find a way to get involved in something Ė anything Ė that suits your interest. Being involved in a group, a club, an organization, a sport, whatever, will put you in touch with other people who like the same things you do. It can be as simple as showing up for choir practice and meeting the other sopranos in your section to be instantly accepted into a group.
Look for Holes
Look for openings in other groups that look like fun. The perfect scenario is another new individual who might be looking for a friendly face. If you can find that, youíll be in business. Another chance is to look for groups that seem to have odd numbers. A group of three friends can usually use a fourth one for group projects or when they are forced to pair up in class. Look for threes or fives and just ask if the extra seat is taken Ė no? Itís yours. If they look hesitant or are all huddled up together talking, keep walking. There will be a group thatís more open and friendly out there Ė donít force yourself in.
Even if it hurts, keep smiling a natural smile and find light, funny things to contribute to a conversation. You want the others to be glad you joined them. Donít just sit there like a bump, find something to say to the others and politely answer any questions they ask you. Include a few extra details as well so that the others know youíre warm and open. It can be tough, but becoming friends requires opening yourself up just a bit and taking that first risk.
Donít lay everything out on the line right away Ė you can regret it if this doesnít turn out to be the right group. Mention something that most everyone is comfortable with Ė you love of Breaking Dawn, your fascination with Heroes, how you love to hang out online, etcÖ and youíll find common ground in no time.