Love him, love him not. Itís a common thing throughout most of your youth and perhaps on into adulthood to find someone wickedly attractive and just have to be with him only to find yourself a month later wondering why you were acting so desperate and more than ready to move on. Up to a point, this cycle of attraction and moving on is healthy.
Of course, the hardest part is not the games we play as we fall in love (or like, really) and get together. Itís the breaking up that gets so sticky and can be such a mess. If there is anyone out there who isnít affected by a break-up, she is much more hard-core than I am. Breaking up with someone, even when itís mutual should be emotional Ė itís a parting of ways.
Get Your Feelings in Order
Some quiet time is in order before having a talk with your guy about breaking up. You should be able to give an honest answer if he should ask you why youíre breaking up with him. Sometimes your reasons are clear, perhaps you caught him with another girl making out under the bleachers, but often itís not easy to put a finger on the exact reason. If thatís the case, consider all the different elements of your feelings.
Do you simply not like him as much as you used to? Do you have feelings for someone else? Do you feel trapped or stifled in the relationship? Have you simply realized that youíre better friends than romantics? Try your best to isolate a reason before making that phone call.
Meet in Person
In our digital age, it can be simple to send over a text message or play evasive games with someone, but itís far better to just meet in person to talk about it. That shows respect to the other person and will leave you without regrets down the road for taking an easy way out. While youíre waiting to meet him, try to adhere to a few other social niceties as well.
Tell him first. If you needed to talk things over with a friend ahead of time, thatís fine, but donít advertise to your whole posse that youíre going to dump him. Think of how youíd feel if the school knew before you did that he was coming to break up with you. Itís personal, keep it that way.Return his stuff.
Anything given to you as a gift is generally yours to keep unless it is a special item of some kind outside of just a nice offering. For example, if he gave you his grandmotherís antique hair combs for a special dance, you should return those because itís the right thing to do. If he left some music or personal items over at your house, your should return that as well.
Be Honest in the Break-up
Little white lies might make us feel better, but if you know youíre breaking up with him, just do it. Beating around the bush or giving a guy false hopes when there isnít any is cruel in the long run. Donít tell him you want to ďdate other peopleĒ when you really just donít want to date him anymore. And donít ask him to be friends with you unless you really mean it.
Being friends after a break-up can happen, but the break-up has to be a clean one usually with both parties feeling better off being apart. If heíll be pining after you, offering to be friends or waiting to see what happens down the road makes you feel better during this hard conversation, but in the long run, youíre hurting him more if you have no real intentions of maintaining that relationship.