Is it possible for someone who is “bad” to become someone “good?” You and I both know that it is what happens on the inside that matters most, but our self image is a warped thing at times. For the most part, the way you think of yourself is like a recorded script playing inside your head at all times.
Your Personal Script
For some, the script is a warm and fuzzy one – “I’m a good person and I’m smart enough to figure this stuff out.” Or “I’m super cute today and I love being with my friends at school.” But other girls aren’t so lucky. Some have an ugly script running through their heads and they find it challenging to break that message. Even worse, they tend to believe the script after awhile or just give into the message and start acting it out – true or not.
The Bad Scripts
Bad scripts don’t just appear one day. They are written by your experiences and outside influences. Consider this – have you ever had a teacher send you strong messages that you weren’t smart or that you’d never actually amount to anything in life? Image the child who struggles to learn to read while others in her class look on giggling. She gets a clear message that she’s not smart and that message lasts a long time. In fact, most of the time, that message lasts her entire lifetime.
It doesn’t have to be a teacher that can mess with a girl’s mind. It can be something her parents have said to her or the actions and comments of a boyfriend or other students at school. Once a message starts playing in a girl’s head – it’s hard to make it stop.
If you have an ugly script playing in your head telling you you’re not pretty, you’re not smart, you’re not wholesome enough, you’re not dating the right guy, you’re wild, you’re a troublemaker or you’re a mistake of some kind, you can break that signal by developing a new one. It isn’t easy to break patterns, however. Think of the abused women you hear of who keep returning to their abusers because they truly believe they can’t do any better or they deserve the abuse. These women aren’t stupid – they have a stupid message on repeat in their minds.
The first step to getting out of this situation is to recognize that you’re in it. If you find yourself telling yourself ugly things or hear others repeating them back to you, seek help. Talk to a trusted adult or a caring friend about what’s happening in your mind. In most cases, you’ll want to seek out a support group or counselor to help you through the process of change. But daunting as it is, it’s important that you realize bad girls can be good – after all, this is in your head and you can control it and eventually change it with time and effort.