How many best friends do you have? If you answer with more than one, you are quite the social butterfly. I think itís totally possible to have more than one best friend, especially as time changes people and relationships. But I do love having a single best friend who really understands me and what Iím about. That person has changed for me a few times in the last decade, but since junior high, I seem to keep one friend especially close while enjoying the company of many more.
I donít think it matters what you best friend looks like or what she likes to do. In fact, you should only be concerned about her appearance if she is or you suspect she has some sort of harmful issue such as an eating disorder. True friendship goes much deeper than clothing or hairstyles. You donít choose your friends based on labels Ė either clothing or clique, and if you realize one day that those labels are getting in the way, itís time to go back to the basics of who you are and what your friendship is about.
Best Friends and Cliques
Itís an interesting phenomenon, especially in large schools, but itís entirely possible to hang out with your other friends all day long and never see your best friend. You might belong to one group during the day just because of the classes youíre in or your electives, but when itís all said and done, your best friend is likely the one you call when you have news about a guy or are upset about something.
Your relationship with your best friend goes deeper than after school practices and study groups. I do a bit in the musical scene and my best friend does art. Our peer group is different, and I think we have been in only one class together since junior high. And that one had assigned seats where we never talked anyway. It didnít impact our friendship, however.
The Best Things about a Best Friend
A best friend is better than the sum of her parts. You canít make just anyone into a best friend. In many cases it is a combination of time together, experiences and personalities that just click and make it hard to think of yourself without that other person around. I think the best things about a best friend include:
Her willingness to come together and be apart. Best friends arenít needy about your time. You have other friends at school sometimes and have to meet with study groups. You might go weeks without hanging out just the two of you, but when you do get a chance to spend the night or go get coffee, itís just as casual and natural as if you did that every day.Her She just gets it.
You donít have to taper your enthusiasm for anything around your best friend. She gets it and you donít have to apologize for your comments or jokes. Speaking of jokesÖ
Her The two of you have inside jokes. If you canít look at your best friend from across the room, mouth a phrase and dissolve into giggles, the two of you need to spend more time together. Schedule a sleep-over complete with school gossip, make-up and a great chick flick to get caught up.